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Dearest Amy,
Am I being inappropriate? I guess some folks will say this is not the sort of thing I should be doing by letter — let alone a letter in so public a space as this. But I hope you’ll understand. This is not just about the two of us. Though there never were just the two of us. In fact, at last count, I seemed to be sharing you with something like 60,999 other people.
Or was that just the way it seemed? Before everything turned so sour in those last passionate moments we had together, shortly before last Christmas?
I have been faithful for so long: through good times and bad. I put up with Jeremy and his dog-shooting ways because I thought you were worth it. Alas, poor Rinka! Though I must confess, the strange affair of the two David’s had me worried. But then Paddy. And Charlie. Alison? Phillipa? Sue? Deborah, Annabel, too? I forget their names.
I may just be channelling random lyrics now.
I even forgave Nick. Because how was he to know that HIS David would turn out to be such a duplicitous bastard? At least I forgave, until he got together with Mark “the Zuck” Zuckerberg. But that is water under the bridge. Vince disappointed. Electile…
