Forget pupils ‘identifying as cats’

It’s the dead ones you need to keep an eye out for

Mr Paws expressing his views on government anti-trans rhetoric today

What larks! We live now in a country where, at last count, three ministers, including the AI Beta programme currently identifying as head honcho, Rishi Sunak, have demanded an urgent investigation into pupils who think they are cats.

Head of Telegraph House, and born-again Trunchbull, Kate Burbling, claims to have evidence of pupils identifying as all manner of beings, including inanimate objects. Lately, she has been out on Twitter, where she goes by the somewhat feline handle of ‘Miss_Snuffy’, fulminating against anonymous trolls.

The culture warriors are ridiculous. Perhaps, though, we should not be so quick to laugh.

Now read on.

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Dead cats and Boris Johnson

We begin, as so often, somewhere completely else. With the ennoblement of Boris Johnson adviser, Charlotte Owen. Youngest life peer ever and — ooer! — just what did she do to get that peerage?

Cue salacious speculation. Is she secret love child? Provider of sexual favours? Or merely witness to some of the most unsavoury of Boris’ peccadilloes. Personally, i am disinclined to believe any of these. But, more importantly…