If English judges are so troubled by my orgasms…the least they could do is ask me about them!
Central to the recent Tavistock ruling over the use of puberty blockers for trans kids was a panel of cis folks pontificating on the potential impact, further down the transition road, of their impact on fertility and “sexual function”.
Bad enough that these remarks demonstrate a degree of absolute ignorance about trans sexuality: the equivalent of blowing smoke out of their perfectly manicured legal bottoms. The fact, though, that they could hold such a discussion without inviting a single trans person to comment is beyond shameful.
Now read on.
Over the last week I have mostly left the recent Tavistock judgment on the prescribing of puberty blockers to trans children to the lawyers. After all, I would trust that such people are far better qualified than I to indulge in such legal nit-picking. Let the experts stick to their knitting.
Which is why I was perplexed by one point in particular. That is not just the obsession of the Honourable Lords and Lady involved in the case with trans orgasms — but their willingness to go ahead and invent a whole load of untruths around discussion of them.
Surely not! But oh yes. After explaining how they are not going to pronounce on the efficacy of puberty blockers (a sure sign that they are going to do exactly that), they…went on to do exactly that. At great length and in multiple places throughout their ruling.
“But go search. If you dare, you will find the final judgment sprinkled throughout, like a sixpence-stuffed Christmas pud, with reference to “fertility” and “sexual function”.”
Judges with O-bsessions
Not only! They also ruminated at length on the ability of trans folk to orgasm. Really, jane? Absolutely. Not in so many words. But go search. If you dare, you will find the final judgment sprinkled throughout, like a sixpence-stuffed Christmas pud, with reference to “fertility” and “sexual function”. And — forgive my French! — what is “sexual function” but the ability to indulge in a bit of the ol’ horizontal tango: getting sticky with the kitty; the big O.
Or at least a reasonable amount of screaming-and-kicking-so-as-not-to-hurt-his-feelings commotion, of the sort women know all too well.
The lies they tell
This is strange, but not unsurprising. Trans folk out on social media are used to cis folk rocking up uninvited to cisplain how sorry our lives will be post transition. If they’re not dumping gruesome pics of botched surgeries in your timeline — a tactic that the transphobes and bigots have taken to like a duck to water from their friends and allies in anti-abortion campaigns — they’re bemoaning how trans women end up with “open wounds” that must be maintained by daily dilation.
“Trans folk out on social media are used to cis folk rocking up uninvited to cisplain how sorry our lives will be post transition”
Then, the icing on the cake: poor, poor trans folk! Because once we transition we lose sexual function altogether.
As if. Let’s start at the top and work down. The focus on fertility is disturbing. Of course, the judges in this case were at pains to distinguish a child’s ability to opt for puberty blockers from a child’s ability to opt for an abortion, which is a principle that women have fought for long and hard. Still, if a child is not capable of truly understanding what it is like to be infertile in future, as this ruling argues, then seeing as how that is a possible side-effect to abortion, the door may not be wide open yet. But it is well and truly ajar.
And a bunch of women who have been at great pains to argue that womanhood is synonymous with biological function have only widened it further .
Post-op pics (of anything) are always gruesome. Likewise, the stuff about dilation and open wounds is pure nonsense. Once you are fully healed (so no open wounds), it is a very occasional ritual, taking place monthly or less. Also unnecessary if you are sexually active.
This takes us right back to the start. Trans men, trans women and non-binary people have sex. True, this might not exactly be sex as an English judge would recognise it. For starters, spanking is not compulsory. But there is not, yet, a British Standards set of protocols for doing the dirty. Though with our departure from the EU imminent, who knows what the future might bring. Safer sex kitemark, anybody?
“[This is] something of a first: a privileged English bloke worrying about whether a woman gets to come.”
Sex sessions, judges?
So presumably their Lordships were worrying about outcomes. Orgasms. Which is something of a first: a privileged English bloke worrying about whether a woman gets to come. This is something of a touchy subject for trans people. That’s right: we touch; we come!
But seriously, for a long time trans women undergoing gender re-assignment knew they were signing up to a procedure that would leave them numb for the rest of their lives. This began to change when a surgeon (a woman, by all accounts) piped up with the quite revolutionary suggestion that maybe trans women would like to have a clitoris.
Whatever for? the men grumbled. That just makes it more complicated. In the end, though, clitoris it was and with each passing year the sexual recovery rate for trans women gets closer to 100%. Again, there is always a chance of complication, as there is with any other procedure. But as of 2020, something like 95% or more of trans women are estimated to be orgasming regularly.
And what orgasms!
Reader, I cannot lie: there was a period of time when I, like many a trans woman, wondered if I would ever come again. And then one day, it happened. And oh boy!
Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy!
I had never known anything like it before. Full body. Intense. Better still, like my phone alarm, capable of being set up on repeat! In this, Apparently, I am not alone, as many other trans women describe similar: an experience that for whatever reason — hormonal, social, supernatural — is much closer in form and texture to that of cis women.
As for trans men: I spoke to one such and his single-word answer told me all I needed. “Rampant!”, he grinned. And apparently — his words not mine — trans guys are known for enjoying rich, fulfilling and, frequently, downright filthy sexual lives.
So what’s the issue? Could it be that judges are afraid that if more people knew what post-transition sex was like the gender clinics would be overwhelmed? Or rather, even more overwhelmed than now?
That’s it. Judges are jealous, aren’t they?
Also rude. Because if they want to know about what I get to under the sheets, they have only to ask. Hell! If there’s to be an appeal and evidence given on the Trans Peak, I’d be more than happy to turn up and be cross-examined.
Though given the judges performance last week, forgive me my pessimism….
The Honourable Mr Justice Once: “Excuse me. What are you and what are you doing in my court?”
Me: “I’m jane fae. I’m trans. And I’m here to give evidence about trans orgasms”.
The Dishonourable etc.: “Whatever for? We’ve already heard all there is to hear on the subject from the previous witness, a most learned snake oil salesman with an interesting handshake who knows all there is to know about the subject.”
The Disgraceful: “I trust you are not going to argue. That would be contempt!”
Me: “Yes, Your Lordship: it most CERTAINLY would…”
“ …if I wanted to know about trans experiences, I’d not go first and foremost to legal and ecclesiastical types. Nah: if I wanted advice from folks who enjoy wearing long-flowing robes and outlandish wigs in public, I’d ask drag queens before I asked the priests and judges.”
Of course they’d never treat trans folks this way. Except they did. Only they used posh flowery language to disguise what they were up to at the time. Point is, if I wanted to know about trans experiences, I’d not go first and foremost to legal and ecclesiastical types. Nah: if I wanted advice from folks who enjoy wearing long-flowing robes and outlandish wigs in public, I’d ask drag queens before I asked the priests and judges.
Because even if they don’t identify as trans, a drag queen is far more likely to know and to have spoken to a trans person. And when it comes to style, try as they might, High Court Judges just aren’t a patch on RuPaul!