Rude!

If English judges are so troubled by my orgasms…the least they could do is ask me about them!

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Image for post
Adapted from The Romans in their Decadence (Les Romains de la décadence by Thomas Couture (1847): public domain

Legal duplicity

Over the last week I have mostly left the recent Tavistock judgment on the prescribing of puberty blockers to trans children to the lawyers. After all, I would trust that such people are far better qualified than I to indulge in such legal nit-picking. Let the experts stick to their knitting.

“But go search. If you dare, you will find the final judgment sprinkled throughout, like a sixpence-stuffed Christmas pud, with reference to “fertility” and “sexual function”.”

Judges with O-bsessions

Not only! They also ruminated at length on the ability of trans folk to orgasm. Really, jane? Absolutely. Not in so many words. But go search. If you dare, you will find the final judgment sprinkled throughout, like a sixpence-stuffed Christmas pud, with reference to “fertility” and “sexual function”. And — forgive my French! — what is “sexual function” but the ability to indulge in a bit of the ol’ horizontal tango: getting sticky with the kitty; the big O.

The lies they tell

This is strange, but not unsurprising. Trans folk out on social media are used to cis folk rocking up uninvited to cisplain how sorry our lives will be post transition. If they’re not dumping gruesome pics of botched surgeries in your timeline — a tactic that the transphobes and bigots have taken to like a duck to water from their friends and allies in anti-abortion campaigns — they’re bemoaning how trans women end up with “open wounds” that must be maintained by daily dilation.

“Trans folk out on social media are used to cis folk rocking up uninvited to cisplain how sorry our lives will be post transition”

Then, the icing on the cake: poor, poor trans folk! Because once we transition we lose sexual function altogether.

“[This is] something of a first: a privileged English bloke worrying about whether a woman gets to come.”

Sex sessions, judges?

So presumably their Lordships were worrying about outcomes. Orgasms. Which is something of a first: a privileged English bloke worrying about whether a woman gets to come. This is something of a touchy subject for trans people. That’s right: we touch; we come!

Depraved?

As for trans men: I spoke to one such and his single-word answer told me all I needed. “Rampant!”, he grinned. And apparently — his words not mine — trans guys are known for enjoying rich, fulfilling and, frequently, downright filthy sexual lives.

Deprived?

That’s it. Judges are jealous, aren’t they?

“ …if I wanted to know about trans experiences, I’d not go first and foremost to legal and ecclesiastical types. Nah: if I wanted advice from folks who enjoy wearing long-flowing robes and outlandish wigs in public, I’d ask drag queens before I asked the priests and judges.”

Of course they’d never treat trans folks this way. Except they did. Only they used posh flowery language to disguise what they were up to at the time. Point is, if I wanted to know about trans experiences, I’d not go first and foremost to legal and ecclesiastical types. Nah: if I wanted advice from folks who enjoy wearing long-flowing robes and outlandish wigs in public, I’d ask drag queens before I asked the priests and judges.

Because even if they don’t identify as trans, a drag queen is far more likely to know and to have spoken to a trans person. And when it comes to style, try as they might, High Court Judges just aren’t a patch on RuPaul!

Written by

Feminist, writer, campaigner on political and sexual liberty who also knows a bit about IT, the law and policing. Not entirely serious…

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