Member-only story
Middle-aged busybodies with too much time on their hands celebrate saving literally 17 children from an imaginary threat
“Today is a great day for children!” That was the message this morning from global online organisation Scare Away for Demons (prop. one woman, Mrs Edith Gullible, and her dog) as its founder confirmed that young persons in Surrey are no longer at risk from incubi, succubi or any other sort of bi!
According to Mrs Gullible: “This has been a problem for many years now. I first noticed it when my nephew, Alex, turned 12. Overnight, he transformed from a bright and lovely little lad to a pasty-faced evil git who spent every waking hour glued to his pc playing games.
Demons
“Then I started noticing the same thing happening to his friends. There could be only one explanation: infernal creatures were creeping into their bedrooms under cover of darkness and stealing away their souls!”
“But would anyone listen? I seemed to be talking to myself, at home, and loudly in public: which is no reason to give anyone an ASBO, and just shows how far demonic possession of our legal system has reached!
